Neglecting my life

I met a woman named Jill at the FSMC show and sale on March 27th who told me how much she’d enjoyed following my website and blog. She even went so far as to say that it helped her through some tough emotional times. She said she was especially touched by Skeetlin’s Garden, and lamented that it “just stopped” after 2008. I felt like I’d let her down! (I do have more photos of the garden and it’s ups and downs, I’ve just not gotten around to updating it!!) I’ve let life’s pesky details get the better of me, and have completely neglected my online “life.” (It’s also just way too easy to pop into Facebook and toss out a line of text or two.) I also had no idea there were people out there who were so interested in my crazy life!

Never fear dear readers, I hereby commit to keeping tabs with my blog and website from now on. Just forgive me if the details of the past few months show up here in random order and seem a bit disjointed. There’s been a lot going on!

The End of the Day

Good Gods, has it really been so long since my last post? Life has a way of getting away from me anymore, especially since I’ve been back at work at the Big Bad Bank. Worse yet, I’m stuck working the 9 – 6 shift which I absolutely HATE, but everyone else on the team beat me to the 7 – 4 shift. I don’t suppose it matters anyway, they own my soul 5 days a week no matter what hours I work.

At last I have a quiet moment at the end of my work day to sort out my thoughts…so much has passed, so much is going on, I feel completely overwhelmed most of the time these days. My main project for the moment is redesigning my display table for upcoming shows. I’ve gone with kind of a “Victorian Boudoir” kind of theme,  with my favorite red and black. Ever since Mom made me that western horse show outfit so many years ago, red and black has been kind of a thing with me. It was a red shirt with black fringe, black pants, and it all matched my fuzzy black and red checked saddle pad. I never won anything at those shows, but Me and Dude (my horse) strutted around like we were something special back then. I don’t know what became of that horseshow outfit. Probably found it’s way into the Goodwill bag at some point in time. I don’t think I even have any pictures of myself in it. But I’ll never forget how I felt in it.

I guess in some ways I’m always trying to find a feeling I lost somewhere long ago.

Back on the Blog

Been away from the blog for a while due to some technical difficulties with the old hosting company, but now I’m back! Stay tuned for some stuff I’ve been working on and the state of my world.

Commissions

Two commissions that I just finished:

This one is a portrait of the buyer’s sister. She was a schoolteacher in Scotland, and is retiring this year. Her sister has built a miniature of her classroom as a gift for her, and had me make the portrait doll of her sister to put in it. The freaky thing is that the doll looks a lot like my mom.

This fellow just shipped out yesterday to a lady in California. She’s the same one who ordered a bathtub cowboy from me earlier in the year. She asked for a 1920s “matinee idol guy, sort of like Clark Gable.” I think he works. I cut up one of Jim’s black dress shirts I filched out of the closet to make his tux. He’ll never miss it.

Yet another mad scramble: Sturbridge

This doll thing is starting to feel like theater–as soon as the closing night curtain comes down, I’m running around looking for the next show. I hadn’t planned on it, but now I’m doing Molly Cromwell’s Sturbridge Massachusetts show on June 5th & 6th. She had a cancellation, and I’d been hearing good things about this show. The table was cheap too, only $195. So with hardly a chance to breathe after Chicago, here I am down to the wire trying to re-fill my table for the Sturbridge show. The past few weeks have been spent finishing several commission jobs, but I managed to sneak one new one in there. This is Grace, my first sucessful try at an African-american figure. I still haven’t managed to finish the African mermaid–I sculpted her from light colored clay, then tried to paint her. After stripping the paint for the third time, I just set her aside out of frustration.

Grace was sculpted using that weird “ethnic brown” Prosculpt. It’s nasty. The color is very flat “tootsie roll” brown, leaving little room for variation in skin tone. It has a rather different texture than the light colored Prosculpt, and tends to stain my fingers, and everything else it gets on. But in spite of the stuff, I think Grace turned out ok. Next time I might mix the brown stuff with some lighter clay, just to knock it back a little and leave me room for some tonal variations. Always a learning experience, every one of them.

Chicago: Success!

Well here it is a full week after the Chicago show. The mad scramble paid off. I sold FIVE dolls at the show, and picked up a $200 deposit on a double commission. I actually MADE money on a show for the very first time. Three of the new dolls made in the scramble sold, and two of my “older” ones. Lady Anne, Renatta, Madame Mae, Pitti-sing and Fraulein Kost all went home with happy customers at the show. I still have to get the new girls up on the website, but here they are:

Lady Anne and Renatta

Madame Mae and Lady in Gold

Lady in Gold is still with me–she might get some tweaks before the next show. Pitti Sing and Fraulein Kost went too. Pitti Sing got sold to a woman who wanted to pose her kneeling, which made me cringe a little, but hey, I warned her about how fragile she is and not to mess with her hands. Kost sold to the same woman who bought Renatta the previous day. Lady Anne went on preview night to a woman who took Rik Pierce’s “Fair Rosamond’s Bower” class to put in the scene. The crowning glory was Mae, who went to a very discriminating collector who kept coming back over and over to look at her. She wanted ladies to put in a bordello scene she’s building in an old Victrola case. I thought maybe my work wasn’t up to her standards, so when she finally caved and bought her on the last day, I was elated.

Alas, it’s always sad to let them go. I grieved a little as I wrapped each one and put them in their boxes, knowing I’d never see them again. It’s like they’re all part of me and it hurts a little. But it’s great validation when someone is willing to cough up the cash for my work, and I’d rather have people enjoying them than have them collecting dust on a shelf in my studio.

At last, a show where I made money!

The Chicago Scramble

Only 4 days left til the big show–the race is on. I’ve manage to finish three new dolls since my last post. Even with the ready made parts, it still takes me forever. But I definitely like the costuming part better. Two Tudor ladies, inspired by the TV show, an Erte-esque 20s lady from Dana’s Renatta kit (used my own sculpt with her costume pattern), and I managed to half-dress a Mae West type doll this morning. Should have her done by tonight-she’s not quite as involved as the others were, but she’s gonna be really cool. Hopefully that will leave me tomorrow morning and evening to at least re-dress Tristan and fix his hands. At least that way I have some new stuff on my table.

I was hoping to have another bathtub cowboy ready and the two mermaids, but alas, there’s only so many hours in the weekend. The biker guy is no-where near ready, although I got a lot done on him at the REAF show. He may continue to be my WIP for Chicago.

I signed up for Molly Cromwell’s Sturbridge show in June. Table’s only $195, and I hear good things about the show. It’s only a 5-6 hour drive too, unlike the Chicago 13-hour haul. Then I’m off for the summer–no more shows til IGMA in September.

I’ve also decided to wait on my Fellow application. There’s just no way I’ll be ready for that right after this show. I hate to wait another year, but I’d rather do that than send less-than-perfect pieces. I could send the one Tudor lady–she’s spectacular, but I have a feeling she’ll sell in Chicago. And I need 5 pieces to send… not sure any of the rest of them would measure up.

I’ve got two commissions to finish by May1, then I’m going to set a goal of one doll per week and try to stick to it through the summer so I have a nice full table for IGMA.

Cheating?

I’ve been spending a lot of time on Dana Burton’s minidolllist site and such. I even bought her costuming and wigging cds. She works mainly with porcelain dolls from commercial molds, but her costuming is very inspired and beautifully done. I put together one of her kits last year just for the hell of it–I find I learn a lot from other artists. We all do things differently and she’s got some great techniques.

I’ve come to realize that a lot of miniature doll buyers really don’t care if the doll is OOAK or not–they like the costume, the subject matter, whether it will work in their dollhouse or miniature scene, and so on. I’ve come a long way with my sculpting skills, but I’m so damned slow at it, I can’t ever seem to get anything done.

I’m especially slow at hands. I’ve gotten rather good at making realistic hands, but have not been able to create a decent press mold from any of them, so I hauled off and bought an arm/hand mold from House of Caron. It works relatively well as a PC press mold, even though it’s meant to be used for porcelain slip. I’ve also made a few press-molds from feet and boots that I’ve sculpted myself so I can kind of “mass-produce” those parts. That way, if the doll is more costume than sculpt, I can produce it faster. I’ll still make custom stuff for dolls that need to have more specific poses to their hands and feet, but I won’t have to start from scratch every time.

I think that once Chicago is over, I need to spend some time making parts that I can just grab and use when trying to quickly put together a fully costumed doll. And I’ve also got Dana’s patterns so I don’t have to figure out every single costume from scratch either.

Sometimes it’s nice to just put together some ready-made parts and cut right to the costuming. I actually enjoyed putting together Dana’s kit doll. I’ve always liked the costuming part better than the sculpting, but I’ve always hated the vacuous expressions and mannequin-like poses of commercial porcelains.

Cheating? I think not. It’s not like I’m mass-producing carbon copies–each one is still unique. Just put together a little quicker…

Another "throwaway" show

Rochester Erotic Arts Festival–much fun, no sales. I may attend next year, but not as a vendor. It was relatively cheap compared to some–probably spent about $350 between the table fee, hotel room, food, gas and tolls–but that’s still a chunk of change to just throw away on a “fun” event.

I’ve pretty much decided that I’m not doing anything next year but IGMA and Chicago, and the Flower Show. I already told Bev I’d do FaerieCon with her this November, but I’m seriously thinking I should bag out on that one. There’s no way we’re ever going to sell anything there, or at any of these non-miniature shows. Just because you keep going back year after year does not mean that show-goers are going to suddenly see the light and buy your dolls. No matter how much we educate them on how they’re made, no matter what we call them, (sculptures, figurative art, OOAK), to Joe Public, they’re always going to be just DOLLS. And even our most reasonable price is too much in his eyes when you can get a nice mass-produced resin figurine or Barbie for 30 bucks at another vendor’s table. And that’s assuming Joe P even wants one in the first place.

Unless the buyer is a COLLECTOR, they don’t CARE whether it’s OOAK or mass-produced, and therefore the OOAK is just too expensive for a dust-collector.

Chicago and IGMA are two shows where collectors come looking for stuff like ours. They expect to pay several hundred bucks for an OOAK doll. Some of them will pay that much for non-unique porcelains made from commercial molds. Miniaturists generally buy OOAKs because it’s something they can’t find elsewhere, and they want it for a scene they’re working on, or plan to work on. And sometimes they just fall in love with one of my dolls and buy it in spite of not having a scene for it. But most of the time, even THEY don’t care if it’s OOAK or commercially molded porcelain.

These “throwaway” shows are fun, but they take up a lot of time and cash. And just because I now have a bit of cash to work with, doesn’t mean I should be tossing it on these shows that end up being more fun “social” events than actual selling venues. The time factor is crucial as well. I now only have two weekends left to get my few new WIPs done for Chicago, where I actually have a chance at selling some stuff.

I stood back and looked at my table this weekend and realized that several of my dolls are going on three years old and have been to several shows. I really need to sit down and finish my current WIPs and come up with some new stuff.

Gotta stop ranting

Good Gods, so much has happened since my last post. I actually finished sculpting the Mermaids yesterday. They never made it to Faeriecon. Gotta post more pictures. Got the museum display done, show is over, it’s back in the workshop.

Today begins my 8th week back at the Big Bad Bank. So far, things are much better than my last tour here–I won’t go into detail here–I save that for the private rant blog so I don’t get busted blogging about work. It’s gotten me in trouble before.

All that said, I need to quit posting so much in the “rant” blog and get back to posting the good stuff here.

FaerieCon was yet another wash. Proof yet again that Joe Public does not “get” the idea of OOAK dolls as art. I did the Art Museum show on the 12th of December, and to my shock, I sold the bubble fairy. By then I knew I had the bank job back, so I turned around and blew my profits on a new purse from the vendor next to me. I love it, and dammit, I deserved it.

So, after hitting rock-bottom financially, I’m back to raking in the cash at the bank. I’m also working my ass off for it, but that’s ok. Things had gotten so tight while working at the GS, I actually broke down and applied for a night job at WaWa. I never heard from them, and just as well for three weeks later, I heard from the Bank.

I had a shot at a telecommuting job in Baltimore, which had me kind of excited, but alas, they hired someone else. No biggie, since I’d already said yes to the bank. I wonder if I have the self-discipline to work from home anyway–it would be just too tempting to go work on dolls and leave the real work till the last minute. I suppose I could do it if I had to–it would just be hard to resist the temptation and all the distractions. People have said to me “wouldn’t you miss being around other people?” Fuck no. I LIKE being alone. I’m hardly the misanthrope that Jim is, but there’s hardly anyone here I’d miss if I left.

I all but quit the Brandywine Harps. I blew off the last two Mini Club meetings. I may just bag the club altogether. I’ve had to let some things go in order to keep from overextending myself. The BHO was starting to get to me–too many concerts, way too many rehearsals, and I can’t keep up with the music anyway. Janet is taking it in an almost professional direction, and I just can’t go there with it. I still do the website, and I might do a couple of the fall concerts, but for now, I’m out. It’s kind of a bummer, but I got so I was dreading every rehearsal and concert. It’s nice to come home after work and know I don’t have to be somewhere.

I’ve cleaned up my attitude toward work too. It makes all the difference in the world. I used to drag myself in here, hating every minute of it, dreading every day of it, feeling like a loser. Now I rejoice in the fact that we’re not broke anymore, and am making a point of not blowing the money we make foolishly like I did before.

I’ve had to modify a few dreams too, but it brings them closer to being real. The log house has gone by the wayside, replaced by a small modular cape cod that I pray we’ll be able to order by the end of the year. By then, we’ll have money saved, bills paid off or at least down by half, and hopefully I’ll still have a job at the bank.

I’ve made my cube more comfortable than before. I miss that fabulous office at the GS, but it was going away soon anyway with their impending move. So I’m making the best of it, and being grateful for being here every day of the week.

So here I am blogging on my lunchbreak, happy to be able to just sit by myself if I want. I’m hoping I can get them to hire me full-time by the time my 18 months are up here. I’ve seen other contract employees, good workers even, get let go and replaced just so the bank doesn’t get in trouble for keeping contractors too long. Word on the rumor mill is it’s 18 months and it’s hire-em-or-fire-em, according to legal.

It’s mostly good at the moment, and I can’t complain.